September 10, 2011, 8:48 pm
Filed under: recovery, Uncategorized

Today is a day of thankgiving. A heart of praise is needed in these time. No matter how close the darkness seems to get we must maintain a heart of joy.

 On 9/11 many people lost there lives. There death opened the eyes of many. They showed why we must hug the ones we love and tell them daily how special and inportant they are to us.

I treasure the days I get to hold my children and tell them I love them for who they are. You never know when your day has come to go home. Thank God and the men who fight for our freedom  for all the liberties we have in this life time.


seeing the world through fresh eyes
August 30, 2011, 5:58 pm
Filed under: recovery, Uncategorized

After traveling the west coast for two weeks I have retured with fresh eyes. The things that were grey are now are filled with vibrant color.

In the last few weeks Ihave experienced the wonderous history of the gold rush. Felt the pain of gold panning in the unforgiving sun.  I have Rode in a stage coach on a cabol stone  road.  I discovered the beauty of San Fransico under heavy fog. My family and I floaded down the Colorado river surrounded by  glorous  beauty.

Seeing the historical wonders of the west was a blessing. I showed me that God has created so mush beauty for all to exoiernce if we simply take the time  to step out.

Leaves and clouds
August 11, 2011, 2:06 am
Filed under: recovery

As a child I would lie in the yard and stare the clouds that floated by wondering where they went. Now as an adult it seems that time is racing by and I don’t have that time to ask the simple questions. I am always  running from A to b, hoping I’m not late.

I need  to slow it down and find the time  to smell the roses. maybe somewhere in slow motion I’ll find that child I once was. There is wonder in everyday but, I seem to have forgotten how to dance with leaves and question the clouds.

Living with an addict while in recovery
August 10, 2011, 2:17 am
Filed under: recovery

Today I feel the heaviness of living wit han addict. everyday filled with doubt and fear. Knowing i could fall ust as far but having to love him froma distance while standing right beside him.

It’ s like being alone in a crowd. I’m shut off from the world I once lived in and have no desire to hit rock bottom again.

So greatful for the blessings that have been bestowed on me in this journey of recovery.

At times, my old demons tap on my shoulder and remind me of what and who I was. I will be strong in the shadow of the addict in th house I live.

The fight for freedom
August 3, 2011, 4:06 pm
Filed under: recovery

Everyday I rise to new struggles that I had never encountered before I was free from addiction. I am learning to stand on my own two feet. I will always need God to hold my hand and show me  the next step. I am becoming stronger one minute at a time, not one day at a time.

Thank God for the wonders of my life that he gave me the chance to see after my downfall.


July 30, 2011, 2:04 am
Filed under: recovery

Tonight I calmly sit at the key board. Knowing I am free of who I once was; an addict filled with anger and hatred for those who hurt me. There’s still an aching sometimes. Just realizing that I’m allowed to feel the highs as well as the lows. Learning to be real with myself and the ones I love seems  to be the hardest part. The words I write here are my true feelings.

Here is the challenge for the day, the hour, the moment…….to be free to feel whenever I am up or down. To dream as big as the lord would want me to and to accept failure as well as sucess. I am a blessed child of God who is thankful for all I have been given.

A new day
July 29, 2011, 9:56 pm
Filed under: recovery

today is new day filled with new stuggles. I am trying to see the sunny side of everything. The fact that I  have breath in lungs and a wonderful family thats supports me is what brings me through these hard days.

This state of mind is what I must focus on as I progress closer to me dream of completing my recovery.  I would like to give this positive state of mind to all addict and remind them all they are not alone in their struggles.